The Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone, where I knew I couldn’t fail;
The same four walls and busy work were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
But, I stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.
I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much,
I said I didn’t care for diamonds, rings, and such.

I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special all my own!
I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win
I held my breath and stepped outside to let the change begin!!
I took a step and with new strength, I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone good-bye, and closed and locked the door!!

If you are in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out
Remember that all winners, at one time were filled with doubt!
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true!
Greet your future with a smile and Success is there for you!!

~Author unknown

How many times have you been able to relate to this poem?  We are in the second half of 2010 Divas!  Do you want to finish this year “comfortable” or ” SUCCESSFUL??!”  Get moving!

Failure is not falling down. Failure is not getting back up.

~Ancient Chinese Proverb

Everyone hates to fail – or hates the idea of failing.  Even as children we are taught that there is nothing much worse than failing at something.  Failing a class.   Failing to keep your room clean.  Failing to get picked for the football team.   We put such an enormously negative energy around failing, it is no wonder we grow up to fear that word more than any other.

Most people do not realize that you MUST fail in order to succeed.   How many times did Thomas Edison “fail” when inventing the light bulb?   How many times did Alexander Graham Bell “fail” with the telephone?  It is the education that you learn from each failure that brings you closer to your success.   So how do you overcome failure?

1. Learn from your mistakes. Do you remember learning how to ride a bike? I am willing to bet you fell down… a lot. But every time, you got back up, dusted yourself off, and got back on the bike. Each time you fell you learned a little something more about how to maneuver yourself, or the bike, to keep from falling again. Each time you “fail” at something, take the time to learn as much as you possibly can about the experience, so you are better prepared for the next time.

2. Let it go. I am certain you are not still “beating yourself up” for that time you fell on your bike when you were 6. So why are you still beating yourself up for that party you bombed in 2006? Once you have learned what you need to from your mistake – LET IT GO. You can not move forward when you are facing the past. Turn around, look to the future, let go of the past.

3. Don’t be afraid to try again. When you were learning to ride your bike, there was some driving factor that kept you getting back on it over and over. Maybe it was to be able to ride to school like a “big kid.” Maybe it was fear of being picked on by your big sister. Maybe it was just to prove to yourself that you could do it. The fear of falling down again paled in comparison to your drive and determination to ride that bike. In our industry you hear “The only way to fail is to quit.” Don’t let your fear from your last failure keep your from achieving your dream.

4. Rationalize the “Worst Case Scenario.” Go ahead and take an honest look at what will happen if you DO fail again. What is the absolute worst case scenario if you do not succeed? Often when you take a real clear look, you see that even the worst case scenario isn’t near as bad as our fear has led us to believe. Getting a clear perspective of “what if” will most often ease your fears.

5. Take baby steps. No one ever said that to learn to swim you must jump into the deep end – no life raft, no life jacket, and having never been in water before!! If you truly feel “frozen” by your fear, take baby steps to get started. “Get your feet wet” standing on the steps for a while until you get relaxed enough to take another step.

6. Keep a positive attitude. We have all failed in the past. Some of us in BIG WAYS. When you look at people who have overcome adversity or even athletes with handicaps – one thing that is consistent with them all is a positive attitude. Remember this phrase – “Whether you think you can, or you think you cant – YOU ARE RIGHT!” Tell yourself you can, tell yourself you WILL, and be proud of yourself for even trying, regardless of the outcome.

7. Surround yourself with positive people. Remember The Law of Attraction – it is the thoughts and things that you surround yourself with that will ultimately impact your success or failure. Surround yourself with positive, successful people who have “been there, done that” and learn how other people have overcome THEIR failures and moved on to succeed.

8. Get support from others. The fear of failure is the #1 most common problem in our industry – followed closely by the fear of success. You are certainly not in the minority with this fear. Talk to others who have dealt with the same issue that you feel you have failed at before. No matter what you feel you have failed at in the past, there are people out there who have gone through the same struggle.

9. Understand that failure is a part of learning. You absolutely can not have success without failures along the way. Even the most successful business owners now write best selling books on how NOT to do business – all based on their own personal mistakes they have made along the way. It is kind of like “every no gets you closer to a yes” – well, every failure gets you closer to a success.

10. Make your fear work for you. One of the best selling books of all time is called “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway.” It teaches you how to use your fear to motivate you and inspire you to succeed “anyway.” Emotions are just energy – it is up to you how you use that energy, and what you produce with it.

I love to fly. I prefer flying over any other means of transportation.  There is something about being that high in the air, looking out over the clouds, and seeing the World below that is so exhilarating for me.  It is probably because even as young as 8 years old I remember flying alone to my grandparents home in Tampa – only a 50 minute flight from Pensacola.  There was nothing in the world “cooler” than being able to see my Granny and Papa in less than an hour when they lived so far away!

I remember stories my other grandfather used to tell of his travels as a Pilot for the US Air Force. He taught me a lot about how a plane flies, and how a “flight plan” is determined and so on.  It wasn’t until years later that I would reflect on his stories in my memories of him that I started to realize how much flying a plane is like going through life.

Did you know that an airplane is constantly a few degrees off course? The “flight plan” is drawn out before the plane leaves, but once it is in the air, the plane will be off course almost the entire flight. Yet, each plane still manages to arrive at the correct city, at the correct time, almost every time.

Think about a goal you have set and achieved.  Were you ever “off course” during your journey? Maybe you missed a few “mile markers” but still reached the same destination.  How can this happen?

Well, an airplane comes equipped with two very important pieces of machinery – Auto Pilot, and a GPS.  These two devices communicate with each other throughout the flight to keep the plane readjusting back on course.  The GPS will signal how far the plane is off, and the Auto Pilot will correct itself. 

In Party Plan, you must also have a GPS and Auto Pilot.

Your GPS is a combination of your current numbers and your datebook. Your current numbers (monthly sales, consultants, etc) will tell you where you are, and your datebook will tell you where you are headed.  These two tools will give you a clear, concise look at the direction you are headed towards your goals.  You can also track and review your progress just like with a GPS.  By looking at your progress, you can very quickly see whether you are ahead or behind on your plan.

Your Auto Pilot will be a combination of your drive, dedication, and support you are receiving from your Sponsor, Success Sisters, and family.  These factors will help you get “back on course” when your GPS tells you that you are not headed in the right direction.  Your commitment to your goal will be what you need to readjust yourself, get back on track, and “land” at the correct destination.

In addition to these two tools, you must also have a good “flight plan” in place.  Your flight plan is the course you are taking to reach each goal.  Goals must be broken down with quarterly, monthly, or even weekly “mile markers,” and must be constantly in front of you every single day.  Make your goal your screen saver on your computer.  Put it as your wallpaper on your cell phone.  Write it on the rearview mirror of your car. Hang it in your office.  Write it on your bathroom mirror.  Also, make sure to SHARE your goal and “flight plan.”  You must consistently have thoughts and momentum towards your goal each and every day.  Not thinking about your goal would be like not entering your flight plan into your airplane’s Auto Pilot – you will not know where to go!

And finally, know that no matter where you are on your flight plan, you can always still reach your destination.  Remember my favorite Chinese Proverb – Failure is not falling down, failure is not getting back up. Even if you think you are way off course, you can go back to your Auto Pilot, and still reach your destination – maybe your flight was just delayed!  Ha!

So today in an effort to get my mind of things Mike and I decided to take the girls to brunch and a movie. Normally the idea of going to a kids movie on a Saturday afternoon makes me want to run screaming, but this week has really put some things in perspective for me. So off we went.

We chose Planet 51 over Christmas Carol – and I am SO glad we did! It was such a cute movie and even though it was animated, it still had enough “adult stuff” in it to make it enjoyable. Plus it was “nice” enough that my toddler wasnt buried in my shoulder “hiding.” There were a few places that were almost TOO adult, but thankfully my girls didn’t catch them.

But the best part wasn’t the movie. It was the lesson I learned while we were there.

We got to the theater early thinking it would be packed since the movie just opened. Thankfully it wasn’t and we were able to get the “foot rest seats” – you know, the ones right behind the bars where you can prop your feet up without bothering anyone! Ha – you know which ones I am talking about! There was a lady there with her daughter, and Sami happily plopped down just 2 seats from the other girl. I said something about the foot rest, and the other mom laughed and said “yeah, you gotta have the foot rest.” We exchanged a friendly smile and sat down.

Well immediately Sami and her daughter began chatting. Before the previews started I got “Mom, can I move over one seat?”

These two had never seen each other before, but in a matter of minutes were sharing each other’s candy. They whispered and giggled thru the entire movie – the mom and I making eye contact just a few times with smiles to let eachother know the girls were ok. When the movie ended, the girls exchanged phone numbers, and both went on their ways, happy to have made a new friend.

It made me think about how easy it was to make friends at that age, and how “fearless” we are about talking to complete strangers. In life and business once we get older, this FEAR sneaks in and paralyzes us from “making the first move.” We don’t want to pick up that 600 pound phone. We over think the best way to approach someone – to the point we miss the opportunity and think “oh well, next time” – knowing full well we will wuss out then too. We don’t ask for the party booking. We don’t push just a little further to see how interested she is in the opportunity. We have forgotten what it is like to be a child, and to make friends out of no where, and to be fearless and confident enough in ourselves to make the first move.

This week the question was asked how to get over this fear, and I responded with tips on how to get prepared for the call, have a script, blah blah blah…. but today I realized, we all just need to remember being little girls, making new friends, and sharing our candy. I believe we should never lose sight of our childhood, no matter how “old” we get. Our business is all about relationships, and making new friends. And we have so much to share – with our products, our hostess rewards to save money, and our opportunities to truly change someone’s life.

I am so incredibly proud of my ‘Tween for making the move and introducing herself – my little Leader. When I told her so, her response was “well, yeah Mom, it’s easy – you just TALK!” Ahhh, the wisdom of a ten year old.

So last night I am sitting with the hunny on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy (which was fabulous of course) and as always we chat between commercials. Well, during one of the commercials he says to me “Welcome Home.” Wow! It’s true – I didnt have a JOB to go to this morning! I *remember* this feeling from before, but I must admit I had gotten pretty comfortable heading into work every day and collecting a check every Friday. Eeeks!

So I say to him, “You know I am terrified, right?” He laughs and says, “You will do fine, you are now your own boss, you are the CEO of Party Plan Divas, with 100% of the shares, you just dont have anyone holding your hand anymore.”

I let this sink in for a moment, so proud and excited to have a life partner that says things like “you have shares” (lol) but I said to him, “yeah, I get that…. but you know what it really is? (BAM! IT HIT ME!) I dont have an EXCUSE anymore!”

I will admit, I have not been doing 100% with either of my businesses. I have done well in both, and I am excited about the direction both of them are going. But I have not lived up to my potential in either, and I have been using the J-O-B as my “reason” for that. Not enough time, can’t focus during the day, coming home exhausted, cant get out and network…. yeah, I have used the J-O-B as an excuse for pretty much everything.

It’s SCARY putting yourself out there. It’s SCARY putting yourself 100% into your business! Cause what happens if you STILL FAIL!!? Then what?

If you read my post yesterday “Sometimes Ya Just Know” you read about my experience at Brian Biro’s seminar Break Through To Success! It was a very powerful moment for me, and I often close my eyes and try to relive it and remember that feeling. But as I was lying in bed last night, the fear and excitement making it impossible to sleep, I tried to remember everything I could about that day. What hit me like a ton of bricks was remembering what I WROTE on my board.

In the seminar you are instructed to write the #1 obstacle you face every single day, what really gets in your way of success. (Remember now, this is 4 years ago) I thought about it for a moment, but then I very largely wrote:

“Self Doubt”

*Gasp* That’s what I am facing NOW!

But wait!! I broke through that!! Didn’t I? I mean I was THERE, I had all those people cheering my NAME? I broke my BOARD!!!! I SHOULDNT HAVE THAT ANYMORE!!!!

But I do… and I realized that every DAY I am going to have to Breakthrough that. Every DAY I need to have Little “Breakthroughs To Success”. We all do. Every day we need to celebrate something. Rejoice in getting over even the little tiny roadblocks that we face every day. And dealing with our inner demons that tend to sneak back in no matter what kind of metaphoric tactic we do to overcome it… we will still battle it every single day on some level, and that’s ok. The POWER comes from knowing that, embracing it, and deciding to love it as a part of life.

So here I sit. My first day officially as a full time CEO for Party Plan Divas, Inc, and full time Consultant for my Party Plan Company – with no excuses, no one “holding my hand”, and nothing holding me back. Am I still scared? TERRIFIED doesnt even come close. But it was a Breakthrough for me to realize that it was only my Self Doubt that is standing in my way.

What can you Breakthrough today, to get out of your own way?